So…plans change. We went to look at two apartments tonight and after we looked at the second one and got to talking more about the neighbors and found out they too have a dog we were told that we can’t live in a second floor apartment because of our dog. I was more than just a little bummed out. I HATE living on the bottom floor and am dying to live upstairs again. I miss having that view out my window, but oh well – moving on. We are not moving for the moment because there aren’t any first floor apartments open right now. They tell me that maintenance can work around us living here, but I have my doubts. I’ll stay positive though and keep you all posted.

After spending most of the evening looking at apartments I didn’t really have time to come home and cook dinner so we took the girls to their favorite restaurant…Fitz’s on the Loop! They bring their food in old style Chevy cars and you can watch them bottle the Fitz’s root beer while you eat. It’s a fun place to go and the food is decent too.

I had the roasted portabella sandwich with fries and must have been starving because I ate the whole thing. In my defense though the sandwich wasn’t all that big.

After eating this the girls were determined that we have ‘sert’ (as Regan calls it!) So – the four of us split this mother…

I feel quite sick to my stomach now, but I guess that’s all part of the experience…no?

I’m switching gears on you a little bit, but I have some things I need to get off my chest. As you all know I’m planning to run the Lewis and Clark half marathon October 3 and the reason RealFitMama was started in the first place was to keep me in check while I train for this milestone in my life. Well, I’m still planning to run the half marathon and my training will begin to get more intense as time goes by. I am actually extremely nervous and extremely excited all at the same time.

I’m also using RealFitMama as a way to keep my overall health in check. I started taking photographs of everything I eat and sharing it with you, my readers, whoever you are, wherever you, IF you even are… I send my life out into this void in hopes that I might connect with someone or many someone’s in the process.

Writing has always been something that I loved and got great pleasure from. I like writing poems. I like writing stories. I like writing informational articles. I like writing… I would love to make it my career – somehow. If you all (all 11 of you ) keep reading than I will keep writing and maybe (as in the words of Field of Dreams) If I build it – he (or they) will come. I’m building it and hoping they will come.

So here is my news. It may take me a few (or a lot) of unnecessary words to explain, but all good stories must begin at the beginning. I am not in love with my job. I don’t really talk about my job too much for that reason and a few others. I know that my coworkers, administration etc have no desire to show up in my blog and I like it that way as well. I don’t really feel good about what I do as a job. It isn’t something I enjoy tremendously (or at all some days) and I don’t fully believe in it either. I think that shows sometimes more often than others, but I go to work every day, do what I’m paid to do, collect my daughter and go home. It is somewhat of a depressing existence as far as “careers” go, but it affords me the opportunity to be off work in time to pick Linsey up from school, see Regan throughout the day and be off completely when needed. It doesn’t pay much and I am in debt to them (and not just monetarily) because they gave me a job when I really needed one. I give them thanks for that. Having said that I come to the current part of my story.

Jason and I recently watched the movie ‘Julie & Julia’ and at every moment in the film I connected with her. I understood the feeling of drowning. I understood the feeling of longing for something and thinking it was NEVER going to happen. I totally understood the feeling of envy towards the seemingly perfect lives of others. I am blessed in so many areas. I have a wonderful (as of lately) husband. I have two amazing and smart and beautiful and sweet and funny and annoying and headache causing and kiss giving and LOUD little girls whom I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. I am healthy and have a home and a family that loves me, but when it comes to my “work” I have always felt as if something wasn’t right. I have always felt like I missed my calling somewhere. I felt like Julie…

This feeling was overpowering and I said to Jason, when the movie ended, “I could do that. I could do what Julie did. Couldn’t I?” He said of course (because that’s what he was supposed to say) and then tried to move the conversation somewhere else. This blog bothers him at times because I put so much effort into it trying to turn it into something amazing and brilliant, but he lets the feeling go quickly and we move on. I couldn’t let this feeling go and then it hit me. If Julie could tackle Julia Childs book in one year (covering 500+ recipes) why couldn’t I tackle the cookbook that has scared the shit out of me for the past 5 or 6 years??? Who cares that it has 1000+ recipes? Who cares that I’ve bypassed it a trillion times because just the look of the book intimidated me? Who cares that until that night I had never truly looked through the book because it’s size alone scared the hell out of??? I didn’t!! Or did I?

I looked back over blog posts since starting RealFitMama and started to really realize something. I really am no different than the average american out there except for the fact that I’m a vegetarian. I rely on convenience foods for over half of the meals I make for my family. I’m not really cooking most of the time and there is no excuse. I am off work by 3:00 everyday and have absolutely no excuse for not making and preparing meals as opposed to heating up foods that have been massed produced on an assembly line in another state. I am capable and my family is deserving. It is time that I start to practice what I preach.

So I presented myself with my own personal challenge and named it too. It will be called” The Passionate Vegetarian Movement” . By my 32nd birthday (May 10, 2011) I am going to prepare EVERY recipe in my coveted yet intimidating cookbook called… Passionate Vegetarian by Crescent Dragonwagon. I have to prove to myself that I can take on this book and win. I have to prove to myself that I can take on this book for my family. I have to prove to myself that I can take care of my children’s health without ALWAYS using convenience foods and sauces and dips and such. My girls deserve it and so do I.

So that is my news. I hope it doesn’t seem to copy catish, because that is not the intention. The intention (in the end) is to prove to myself that I really can cook AND write. Just because you like to do something doesn’t mean that you are truly good at it. Just ask some of the people who try out for American Idol!!!

What cookbook do you own or have you seen that simply scares the shit out of you??

A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one. ~ Mary Kay Ash

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