let’s get real
It’s no secret (to those who really know me anyway) that I’m a talker. I can talk to anyone about anything at anytime. I have no shame and really don’t know a stranger.
That’s good when it’s time to make friends, but can sometimes (alright — often times) get me into trouble. Because I have no problem sharing every miniscule detail about myself or my life or (gasp!) my opinions — I can make people feel uncomfortable. Or so I’ve been told.
I posed a really important (to ma anyway) question on facebook the other day regarding fitness, motivation, healthy eating and what it is that drives us (any of us) to do those things. Mostly I was curious as to whether or not people would be real with me or give me the same, generic, “I feel better when I workout” answer.
Truthfully, yes, I do feel better when I workout and eat right, but truthfully, no, that is NOT why I do it. I wish it was. I wish I was motivated enough by the simple desire to be healthy, but let’s be real — I’m not that dedicated.
Do I tell my daughters that I workout every morning before the sun comes up because it’s good for me, makes me a better mommy and helps me feel better all day long?
Is all of that true?
But really — I’m lying people!!
I work out because I’m shallow and want to be fit and thin and look good in a bikini and feel great when I walk around (my house) naked and don’t want things to spread out when I sit down in a lounge chair at the pool.
I’m sick of always tearing my body down inside my own head. I’m sick of having that “she looks better in a bikini than I do” feeling and I’m really tired of not feeling good enough about just being me.
But, as I am discovering, it’s much harder to actually shake the years and years of not feeling good enough than it is to say you’re going to do it.
I work out because I am tired of being self conscious.
I workout because I’m tired of always comparing myself to others.
I workout because I’m tired of feeling not good enough.
I workout because I’m vain.
I have been a vegetarian for 10 years. There is absolutely no way I would have been able to keep it up if it was all about “being healthy” because I just don’t have that kind of willpower. I’m not wired that way.
I had to read a book (or four) about what actually happens to the animals. I had to watch a documentary (or twenty) and see it for myself. In the end it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it’s good for me. That’s just a bonus.
While I do not want to, in any way, negate people’s “because it makes me feel good” reasons. That is a really great reason to do something healthy, but for me I just feel the need to be honest and forthright — cause that’s who I am.
If left to my own devices would I rather sleep in late, eat pizza, drink soda, snack on ice cream and fudge sauce and cookies and cake and tubs of icing and chips and dips and all those things that I love, but only have once in a while?
But I really, really, really want this…
And while I may not be there yet — I have every intention of getting there some day. So I will continue to get up at the ass crack of dawn to workout with ShaunT, lift some weights with Bob Harper, throw around a kettlebell with Jillian Michaels or just go for a run.
I will also continue to enjoy the healthy vegetarian meals I prepare for myself, the bowls of oatmeal topped with peanut butter and the smoothies filled with fruit and almond milk because I have grown to love them.
Maybe, hopefully, eventually I will get to a point in my life where my answer for the “why do you workout” question becomes “because it makes me feel good”, but for now I’m just happy that my vanity is motivation enough.
Why do you workout?