As a mother I have lots of guilt.

Is that normal??

Before I get into the guilt part of my day let’s get into the food part of my day.

Breakfast
Breakfast food has got to be my absolute favorite type of food. I live for pancakes, waffles, eggs, toast, omelets, crepes, sausage and bacon (vegetarian of course) and maple syrup.

Lately I have become addicted to yogurt bowls. They are full of protein, good fats and are big enough to keep me full for a few hours.

This yogurt bowl was filled with banana slices, a HUGE scoop of crunchy peanut butter, a sprinkling of dark chocolate chips and one container of black cherry chobani. It’s exquisite.

With ONE mug of coffee it goes down even better.

Regan still isn’t feeling well so I stayed home until about 10:30 this morning when my mom came over to watch her for me. Insert some guilt here…

On my way to the deli I kept feeling guilty for leaving my sick 4 year old at home with her grandmother, but I sucked it up and did my job. The deli doesn’t run well without me – or so I’ve been told.

Snack
I snacked on a granola bar around 11:30.

The weather all day was shitty.

It has been dreary.

It has been rainy.

It has made me feel more guilty.

It has me all dark and twisty inside.

Lunch
So I had lunch. A veggie sandwich on  a whole wheat hoagie with pepper jack cheese and honey mustard. There was also a small bag of chips and an orange.

I caved in to my sweet tooth (GUILT!) and had the top of a very yummy cupcake. I enjoyed every bite of that cupcake top.

Jason knew I felt guilty (I get bitchy when I feel guilty) so he told me to go on home and take care of Regan.

Which I did.

But when I got home she was mean. She was wild. She yelled and wouldn’t listen. Basically – she was a complete brat and I yelled at her.

Guilt…

I got her settled down, gave her some medicine and rocked her for a bit before she asked to lay in my bed and watch cartoons.

She was asleep in about 15 minutes.

Then I stood in the doorway and felt guilty for leaving her, for coming home early from work, for yelling at her while she’s sick and then for feeling so thankful when she finally fell asleep.

Guilt…

It fucking sucks and it never travel alone. It always shows up with it’s good friends doubt and self loathing.

I doubt my abilities as a mother. As a wife. As a writer. As a lot of things.

I hate myself for getting angry and yelling. For arguing with Jason. For resenting my children and their uncanny ability to suck up what little “me time” I get everyday.

Welcome to motherhood…

Dinner
I’m going to finish the workout I started this morning and make breakfast for dinner.

Today I’m thankful for:

…resilient kids

…cupcake tops

…breakfast for dinner

…naps

…Grey’s Anatomy on netflix (have I used this one before)

~ Maria

I had a HUGE veggie sandwich for lunch today.

It had mayo, avocado spread, cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, pickles, banana peppers, lettuce and sweet thai chili sauce slaw. With a few BBQ chips on the side – it was the perfect afternoon meal.

But I couldn’t even finish all of them…good right??

Before I munch on some breakfast at dinner time I wanted to remind you that voting for Project Food Blog is now open and you can help me out tremendously by voting for me here. Every vote counts and you can cast them between now and September 23rd.

Also – if you live in the St Louis area (or near it) you can help me reach my fundraising goal of $800 to make the trip to San Francisco November 5th – 7th for the 2010 Foodbuzz Blogger Festival. I am running a few different silent auctions and the first one was announced Friday. Check it out here!

Thanks for everything!!

“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?” ~ George Bernard Shaw

I didn’t get in ANY kind of exercise yesterday (other than being on my feet running this way and that at work) but that’s ok. I made up for it this morning…sort of.

Jason was speaking at a meeting last night so Regan and I had time to hang out together while he was gone. We watched the rain fall down…

Then we watched Monsters Inc. which Regan LOVED! Can’t you tell…?

Then Jason was home and we had a late breakfast dinner.

Regan was super happy her Daddy was home!

After some family time together (last night that Regan’s an only child) we put the Monkey Girl to bed and got down to business, but we had a little mishap on the way to couch time…

YEP! When Jason opened the top drawer to get the movie out the ENTIRE thing just dropped and snapped and broke and all the movies crashed to the floor. I guess we need a new armoire?? We got the mess cleaned up and it was time for pie – homemade apple pie that is.

And Brad Pitt!!

(photo source)

I can’t believe I hadn’t seen this movie before. It was FANTASTIC and SAD and BEAUTIFUL and HEARTBREAKING and…Gabe just couldn’t take it. :lol;

This morning Regan and Gabe had their very own play date on the floor of our bedroom. I think it went over well.

Then we got up, got dressed and headed out for Saturday morning breakfast as we have done every Saturday morning for…ever?? I had my usual as always.

And a cup of hazelnut coffee (times 2)!

I’m kind of a creature of habit I think.

Gotta go take a shower and head out to my nephew’s birthday party. He turns 3 today and the ENTIRE family is turning out for the celebration. Plus…LINSEY COMES HOME TODAY!!!!! We miss her so much and can’t wait for her to be home.

HAPPY SATURDAY!

Don’t forget – today is the last day to enter the Good OnYa Bar giveaway so hurry up and enter already!

Now – a song I used to blast in my 1995 Cutlass when I was in high school! Enjoy…

Let me be honest – I’m not the person that LOVES running…yet! I have days where I can’t wait to lace up my ASICS and head out with my ipod, but other days I really have to talk myself into it. Tonight was one of those nights.

I really had a lot to get done at home. Dishes were piled up in the kitchen, laundry is in the washer AND the dryer waiting for me AND there was dinner to be cooked.

Jason had just left to take Linsey to her dance class so Regan and I were left at home to do…WHATEVER. After a few minutes of screwing around on the computer reading this blog and that blog I read this post and knew what had to be done…ask Regan what she wanted to do!

Me: Regan, what do you want to do while Daddy and Sissy are gone?

Regan: Go for a ride in my stroller!!

Me: In my head (damn toddler! What the hell does she know?) Ok Monkey. Let me get my hat and new running shirt.

Apparently toddlers know a lot because all it took was her to tell me she wanted to “go for a ride in my stroller” and I was putting on my cute new running top and throwing on a ball cap.

Isn’t my new shirt CUTE!?!?

Then we hit the streets! I only went out for a 2 mile run/walk because I really did have a lot to do, but 2 is better than nothing so that’s what we did. I’ll tell you one thing – running pushing a toddler in a jogging stroller is WAY HARD!

When we got home I got to those dishes and made a dent in the laundry AND cooked breakfast.

Did I say breakfast?

I meant dinner. I made dinner…

YEP! That’s our dinner. Sometimes you just gotta break those rules. Who says eggs, biscuits and soy sausage are for morning time only? NOT ME! I did go back for one more biscuit. This time I drizzled on a little sorghum molasses.

Now it’s time to hang with the girls while Jason’s at a meeting. Tonight we’re watching The Cat in the Hat…GREAT MOVIE!

Game Time…

Who reads RealFitMama?
I read a blog pretty frequently called That Wife and yesterday she asked her readers to “introduce themselves” as a way for her to get to know her readers better. Yesterday’s post has 262 comments as I type this post!

I decided that I want to get to know my readers better too. I love reading comments from you and try to check out each and every one of your blogs, but with a husband, two girls, my own business and all the other “stuff” that living requires I don’t always find the time.

So here’s how this game is going to go – I would love to have each one of you answer 10 questions in the comment section and I promise to visit each one of your blogs and leave an in depth comment.  I think this will be a great conversation starter and an awesome way for me to get to know you! So here goes…

1. When is your birthday?
2. What city do you live in?
3. Occupation?
4. Marital Status?
5. Do you have children? How many?
6. How did you find RealFitMama?
7. If you could only eat 1 food forever what would it be?
8. What is your favorite book?
9. What is your favorite movie?
10. What is something unique about you?

OK! Now….GO!

If you want to make peace, you don’t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies. ~ Mother Teresa

The fam and I just finished a fantastic meal. We had breakfast for dinner because sometimes you just gotta be all out backwards! Breakfast is my absolute favorite meal of the day and sometimes I can’t handle just eating it once.

Oatmeal Coconut Pomegrante Pancakes!! So good even Linsey ate them (without complaining) and there are just enough left for me to have them for breakfast tomorrow. Here’s how they came to be…

• 1 1/2 c Bob’s pancake mix
• 1/2 c old fashioned oats
• 3/4 c pom juice
• 1/4 c liquid egg whites
• 2 tbsp pomegranate apple sauce
• 1/4 c shredded coconut

Then just mix and make the most yummy pancakes ever!! There was scrambled eggs and soy breakfast sausage as well.

And a glass of Simply Orange orange juice.

As I drove Linsey and her friend to dance this afternoon we snacked on mini LUNA bars. I didn’t have a full size so I made do with two of the smaller version. It also let me have two different kinds too…

Lunch was leftovers from last night’s Jimmy John’s take out plus a few really sweet (and some sour ones too) grapes!

This morning was rough. The girls were whiny and fighting and I was tired and cranky due to some extremem lack of sleep. We slept with our windows open for the first time last night which I LOVE, but about 12:30 someone decided to start honking their horn instead of getting out of their car. I was then awake until almost 3:00!! Needless to say – I was tired, crabby and NOT in the mood for screaming little girls who were fighting over who gets to sit on the toilet while they brush their teeth. Breakfast was yummy though!!

I had a toasted Ezekiel muffin with 1 tbsp of almond butter, 1 tbsp of Crofter’sNorth America superfruit spread and two “fried” eggs on top. Two cups of coffee helped things along!

Dear readers I need your help! I started this Biggest Loser 16 Week Challenge at work and everyone seemed to think it was a great idea and a fun way to get people thinking more about their health. One of the important parts of the challenge is the weekly weigh in. Everyone weighed in today (with me alone) and I am the only one who knows their weight. However, one coworker refuses to weigh in and said she will instead “tell me how much she loses each week”. I am not officially participating, but if I was I wouldn’t find that to be very fair.

How do I handle this situation?? How do I explain to this person that it’s not fair to everyone else without offending or hurting her feelings?? HELP!!??

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day.  ~ Elwyn Brooks White